At some point in life, we lose family members, friends and loved ones. It’s difficult to deal with the reality of not hearing from them or seeing them again. Of course you’d be sad or angry but it won’t be forever. As part of the healing process, there are some practical things that help you calm your nerves or make you feel a bit better, if not completely.

A case poem: “A shot at a robber”

Who will forgive me and whom can I tell
That I killed her
The womb …
That I lost her
That embrace …

Like rain drops falling on one side of the mountain
Killing away pregnant smiles off a desert face
Pain and self-pity uncontrolled
How long can it last Oh let me bear

Darkest night oh evil night
flew its wings on my fortune bright
a report of a gun yet the robber still runs
a cry of the crowd after mother’s painful fall

Shame and reproach lover could not bear
Standing at the side of a jailed murderer
Gone with another, an uncircumcised string
Who added to my sentence this sordid sting

Who will forgive me and whom can I tell
That I killed her
The womb that gave me the first sun light
That I lost her
The embrace of one whom I took to the holy altar

Poem by Stevenson Cleardark

“Steps In Dealing With A Loss”

At some point in life, we lose family members, friends and loved ones. It’s difficult to deal with the reality of not hearing from them or seeing them again. Of course you’d be sad or angry but it won’t be forever. As part of the healing process, there are some practical things that help you calm your nerves or make you feel a bit better, if not completely.
1.      
Allow yourself to feel sad. Feeling sad is part of the healing remedy and it’s okay to be sad. The book of Ecclesiastes makes us know that there’s a season for everything. Thus, a time to be happy and a time to be sad.
2.      
Grieving when you have children. It’s sometimes okay to feel sad or cry in front of your children. Let them know that life’s journey won’t be always smooth and assure them that comfort comes from God. Keep an eye on your child if he or she wants to share his or her feelings through singing, drawing or writing.
3.      
Express yourself. To begin the healing process, sometimes it’s good to talk to people about your feelings. Be it a friend, family member, counselor or health professional. Visit a therapist if there’s a need. You’re the only one who knows when you’re ready.
4.      
Eat well. A balanced diet and drinking a lot of water will help you cope with the emotional stress. According to the National Health Service (NHS) in UK, avoid things that “numb” the pain, such as alcohol where it’ll make you feel worse once the numbness wears off.
5.      
Return to your hobbies and keep up your routine. Go back to the activities that keep you busy or happy; house chores, reading, listening to music, playing an instrument, watching comedy
shows etc.

Apart from these practical things, you have to make a conscious effort to be happy. You’re the only one responsible for your happiness. You can’t be sad forever. The Holy Spirit is our
comforter and advocate. Therefore, be rest assured that you’re guided. Jesus loves you.

“Dealing with a loss” by Adelaide Octavian
Writer, ShortbutPowerful